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I’m just a cliche…

15/07/2012

I’m supposed to be on anti depressants, and I stopped taking them…

Genius, I know.Not only is that possibly the most unoriginal thing for me to have done, but it’s also the most self sabotaging thing I’ve done all year, including the regular eating of rubbish food & moaning about weight gain.

Let me clarify, I didn’t mean to stop, it was just one of those weeks where everything was a little too busy, and I never got to the Doctors appointment, and then I never got around to re booking it (because I was embarrassed about missing the 1st one) , and so one week became two, and then three and the next thing you know I’m crying at my husband for some silly pointless reason (again.)

Going to the Doctors…

It was my husband who booked me in, and the Doctors didn’t shout at me, although I was so nervous in the weighting room. The Doctor was, as you’d expect in this situation, quite understanding, but did make me a referral to the counselling service the surgery has, (although nearly 2 weeks later I have yet to hear from them. )

Mill, this is a running blog…

Has running or excersise helped me while I’ve been feeling miserably manic? Yes, parkrun has honestly been a reason to get up on a Saturday morning, not just for running 5k & beating my time from last week, but for the community there too. No one is bothered if I have or have not done whatever I’m currently stressing about, they’re just glad to see you run the course & welcome another runner to the parkrun cult.

Also I’ve been forcing myself to do Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred again. I’m 18 days into it now & it began as a reason to make sure I at least did something productive, but also become a reason that I made sure the kids  helped tidy up the chaos in the living room, and a cleaner living room always makes it seem like the world won’t end in an explosion of lego, toy cars and stuffed animals. It’s also like one of those “Don’t Break The Chain!” things, I’ve done 18 days now, I can’t give up.

Back to real life now…

Two weeks back on my SSRIs & I’m starting to feel a lot better, it apparently takes up to 6 weeks for everything to get back up to strength, so I’m not yet getting the full benefits of the drugs, but I’m starting to feel more like me than the crazy mummy.

The moral of this story…

I’m not superwoman & I can’t do everything myself & my health is one of the most important things I have. I know it sounds like the end of one of those cheesy American TV programs where someone has gone on a life changing journey & learnt many life lessons. But now I’m not being the crazy ginger my husband has told me off a little.

“How can you raise to awesome children, if you’re not being awesome too?” One of the reasons I started running was so I’m not going to be an embarrassing unhealthy mummy at the school gates, but I’m just going to have to pay just as much attention to my mental health as well as my physical.

 

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 04/08/2012 00:51

    Glad to hear you’re looking after yourself. Well done to your hubby for making the appointment instead of just wringing his hands.

    I have a similar motivation to run. I want to have photos of me and my children that I’m happy to have on the mantlepiece. Hiding behind them doesn’t work all that well!

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